Recently, as in this whole summer, I have had ample time to think. I keep trying to find different ways to distract myself, but somehow, I just end up back in my room, alone with nothing but my thoughts and the God of the Universe.
As Christians, we talk about brokenness and sin and our deep need for a Savior frequently (as we should). But, Christian or not, we are also human. And that means we have this tendency to remain surface level. Sure, we act like we are deep creatures with important stories and riveting thoughts and hearts that long to change the world. And maybe, we are partly telling the truth. But half truths are equivalent to full lies. You see, really, we all like to pretend. We are like children, creating worlds where we can be lions and tigers and bears. We put on these masks, these labels and play a role. We are all human, yet in some twisted mind game, we refuse to admit it. Somehow, we have gotten the idea that our human nature is wrong. It is something to be hidden and covered up and never talked about. And you know what is so ridiculously silly about the whole thing? We ALL know the big secret.
Brokenness. What we refuse to admit are the specifics. The quantity. The actual sin itself. And why? Because of fear. Because of cowardice. Because we are so utterly terrified that if someone only knew the extent of the deep fissures within our souls, the shattered pieces of our purity, the lack of innocence that infects our beings, the disease of sin that spreads across our skin- if people only knew, then people couldn't possible love us. Because we have been taught since birth that love is conditional. That love is from people. And that people can only love those who stay within the lines of what is socially acceptable, of what is socially comfortable. People can only love a good liar.
And you know what? I believe that. I believe that people practice conditional love. Why? Because people are so damn broken, so fallen, so consumed with the lies of Satan, that we can't comprehend anything more. Our minds have been conditioned to believe that love comes from saying the right things, pleasing others, and not doing what society condemns as unlovable.
Like every kid in America, I have been yelled at to clean my room a million times. Seriously, I go through periods of time when it looks as though a tornado touched down between my door and bed and created a disaster that would take obscene amounts of time to sort through and clean up. My brother on the other hand, when you look at his room from the threshold, it looks clean. The floor is void of any clothing or food. It may have an item here or there scattered among the fluffy white carpet, but overall, it looks good from the outside looking in. But then you step across the door frame and you turn around. Everything, piles of clothes and food and games are smashed together in a contorted web of destruction just behind the corner of door. It's just as much of a train wreck as my natural disaster of a living space.
This is our hearts. Our lives. Our secrets. For some, our sin, and crap and pain is so obvious. For others, it's hidden to look like we have it all together. But for both scenarios, it all comes down to the same thing. We all have dirt. We all have sin. We all have emptiness and sadness and pain and grief and shame.
Around 2,000 years ago, a man came into this world with a new definition of love. Some call it 'agape' love. I call it Jesus. He came, and He loved those deemed unlovable. He picked up a prostitute from the ground and called her a daughter of the Most High. He ate with a hated tax collector and called him His friend. He welcomed a criminal into Paradise and called him His brother. Jesus comes into the room, into that havoc of living space and He builds a home. And He changes everything.
As humans, we have built a wall within that room, separating justice from love. We have a rule book to prove it. And then a Carpenter from Nazareth comes in and with Faith and a Cross, the wall becomes rubble. And He was hated for it.
It comes down to this. We look to people for affirmation, for worth, and value, and love. Because people surround us. People are our reality, our world, our tangible god. But one day, it will all be dust. And the One who created this dust, He can make beautiful things. He who designed us for so much more, He will remain. And so will we if we remain in the Father's Love. Never once does it say to remain in the love of man. Because man is human, and human is broken. But the Father, He sees man, He sees human as He designed it to be. Blameless, Perfect, Loved. And He came into this earth and he became broken. He became sin. And for that reason, the Father knows a love we can only hope to understand one day. He knows a love without conditions. Because, "He became sin so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God."
And His opinion really does far out-way that of a feeble, fleeting, man. If we look at the Son of God, at the Son of Man, we will learn something about true Love. And perhaps we will learn that we are capable of so much more.
One day, I hope I can be more real. I hope I can have enough confidence in the love of my Savior, in my redemption to my Father, that I can walk unashamed knowing my humanity on this earth, and knowing my perfection in eternity. It all comes back to Love. Everything is rooted and established in this deep, intrinsic need to Love and be Loved.
When we share our brokenness with the world- the dirty, grimy, specifics- there will be hate. But tell me, do you receive perfect love from people by wearing the mask that "saves" you from shame? Because, more then anything, I think that creates the argument of hypocrisy.
Man will always judge. But the Ultimate Judge loves you. And He is calling you to be Loved. So, "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Philippians 2:1-4)
This is Love. True Love. A Love that through a Savior, we can experience and we can give. It is a love without judgment, without boundaries, without chains. It is freedom. Freedom to look beyond the grossness of what Satan corrupted, and glorify the Father who sees whom He created.
Now for the ever-so-typical and cliche, 1 Corinthians 13. An oldie but a goodie.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
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