"Lord, it's dark. It's so dark. I see it everywhere. In the people. So much darkness rests within the people. It's in me too. I feel the shadows lick my skin. I feel the weight of the heavy black press my body like gravity, trying to pinion my movements; attempting to raze my ability to think, to live, to be. Help me, Lord."
(Silence)
"Lord, why don't you answer? Why don't you speak in a palpable voice, a voice as clear as the blue summer sky? I know you can. I feel that knowledge within the confines of my mind, truth ringing deep in its recesses. I know you can hear me. And yet, silence remains, vibrating invisible ripples over this space. Answer me, Father!"
(Silence)
"Don't you hear what your daughter shouts? I can't do this anymore. The pain of this world feels like it will tear me to pieces! Don't you see what I see? They walk around, aimlessly, neglecting their children. They tell each other they are worthless. They hit their offspring. They drink themselves into numb worlds. They defile their bodies. They pierce their skin with distractions, with highs, with death. They mimic light by setting fire to unclean things and tasting it's magic on their lips. They long for more, Father. They are hurting, Abba. Have you forgotten your creations?"
(Silence)
"They lie to each other. To You, to themselves. The brokenness has become a synonym of life. Father, it is in me too. You see it there, the darkness. It grows, Lord. It grows and spreads like wildfire. It burns the flesh, destroying what once was, charring the once existing beauty. "
(Silence)
"Loneliness squirms into the empty spaces. When will burning end? When will the tears cease to flow, creating great floods over Your supposed Beloveds? I see a young man sit in despair. Fifteen years old. He walks into his world, dirty. The world echoes what it has made him. Their words hit his sooty skin like rocks. Tears well behind his eyes. He pushes them back, swallowing their hatred. He exits the publicity of his peers and enters into his home. It is prison; a dark cell with little food, filthy clothes. The smell of rot fills his feculent cage."
(Silence)
"Weariness overcomes my being. Where is your compassion? Where is your love? The fire keeps advancing."
(Silence)
"I don't love like I should. I become so tired. My faithfulness falters. My mind wanders. My will sways with my emotions that feel as though they run rampant without my consent. Powerlessness strikes my chest. Fatigue buckles my knees. Despair clouds my vision. Passion overwhelms my mind. Joy seems to drain from my body. Anxiety pins my core to the earth. I was not meant for this. We were not meant for this place. There is more. There is You. And though all else seems to fall to rubble, my heart continues to beat in my chest:"
Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh
(Silence)
Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh
(Silence)
Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh
"Yaweh"
Feed my lambs
"My King"
Take care of my sheep
"I Am"
Feed my sheep
"My Great Love"
Follow Me
From fire, life springs forth. He will change the lasting, ancient dark into light because of His all-surpassing glory.
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -The Word of Our Lord, Ecclesiastes 3:11
