I Am Called to Financial Insecurity

Warning: I feel like this post has the potential to make certain people upset. I'm writing from my own experience and perspective. This post is meant to start an internal dialogue and to question the expectations of our culture. This isn't a judgement post, it's an opinion based on my interpretations of the will of God in my life and scripture.

It's 12:17 a.m. on a brisk Friday morning. I have to be up in seven hours and three minutes to take a shower, feed my cat, and make my chocolate chip waffle all in preparation for my day. It's 12:17 a.m. and I'm thinking about my future. I'm thinking about my God. I'm thinking about my calling. 

I was raised in Dublin, Ohio. It is a large suburb in the pocket of Columbus. It is predominately middle class. Contrary to popular belief, the streets are not paved with gold though they are constantly repaved. I grew up learning the importance of education, believing without question that I would graduate high school. I had every opportunity to attend college. I grew up believing I had potential.

I moved to Athens when I was 19. Much to the disapproval of many of the adults in my Dublin bubble, I chose to attend Ohio University, #1 party school. I was warned of the dangers of the college culture, how easy it was to be sucked in. In all honesty, I was excited to prove my doubters wrong. And I did. I did not get "sucked in" to college culture. It just wasn't me. I had no interest in going to a party with strange, drunken people all dancing to some mainstream dance song. For one thing, I'm an introvert so that environment just makes me want to die a little inside. For another thing, beer doesn't taste very good to me- I'm a wine girl. Lastly, I can't dance. Like, I'm actually awful. I didn't fall into being someone that I'm not, but I did fall into Appalachia. I fell in love with Athens. 

I had some experience with Appalachia before on mission trips in high school, but none like this. Confession: I have felt called since my junior year of high school to be financially insecure. This statement goes against the entire culture I was raised in. I'm not directly saying financial security is wrong. I'm saying middle class America has turned this concept into a god. 

Jesus was a vagabond. He travelled from city to city loving people. He was a carpenter from Nazareth. Nothing in scripture points to Jesus being consumed by His financial situation. Consumerism was not a part of the Son of Man's M.O. In fact, in Matthew 6:24 Jesus says, "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Jesus intentionally put both Himself and His followers in a position that required complete dependence on the Father for everything. 

I grew up in a social culture that placed pressure on me to find a good job, move back to Dublin or an identical piece of suburbia, get married to a guy with a well-paying, economically sustainable occupation, and  to stay home to raise my kids. I'm going to be honest with you- though I don't reject every aspect of that lifestyle, it makes me want to physically be sick and this is why: Having a good job is not wrong. Being a stay-at-home mom is not wrong. Being married to a guy with a high paying job is not wrong. Finding my value and my worth in those things is. My whole being rejects the idea of becoming a cog in the world. Because I don't fucking belong here. I was created for greater things. I was created for God. And I hear his voice calling me to trust in His provision.

Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. -Isaiah 1:17

Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.' Zechariah 7:10

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed- Psalm 82:3

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.- James 1:27

Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body....Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  -Hebrews 13:1

Scripture is filled with the command to no longer conform to the pattern of this world but to be transformed with the renewing of your minds. Then, and only then, will you be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will.(Romans 12:2)

I have been called to love people. I have been called to live a life that rejects the world and listens to His voice. His voice called me to become a teacher in the most economically disadvantaged county in Ohio with no visible sign of future economic growth. 

I have been abundantly blessed with both privilege and opportunity. I was raised by wonderful parents who financially supported me through my life. I worry far too often that my choices will disappoint them. But I feel in my soul I am where I am supposed to be. I feel my God's hand in my life carrying me towards a part of the brokenness that breaks His heart. I feel Him telling me that worldly possessions and experiences will wither and die but the will of Him, His touch of love will last for eternity (Isaiah 40:8).

As of right now in this season, I am not called to be financially secure. That does not mean I will not be financially responsible. It means that my budget will be tight. It means that my children's childhood will probably look very different from my own. That's not wrong, it's just a different perspective, a different way of doing things. Blessings look different, and I am blessed by this calling to see the Lord in this frightening way. 

I will follow Him because His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). His ways are higher than the expectations of those around me, even of those who helped to raise me. Ultimately, I am being raised and refined by a perfect Father one who tells me that whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus lived (1 John 2:6). And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18).

I will end with this quote from the inspiring Brennan Manning:

Let us be bold enough to ask ourselves as Christians whether the Church of the Lord Jesus in the United States has anything to say to our nation and its ideologies of materialism, possessiveness, and the worship of financial security. Are we courageous enough to be a sign of contradiction to consumerism through our living faith in Jesus Christ? Are we committed enough to his gospel to become a countercurrent to the drift?- Brennan Manning