Freedom from Me: Dobby is a Free Elf

I should be doing my body weight in homework, but I can't even focus with all these thoughts swirling around my head. For the past couple of months, my mind has been focused on this intensely convoluted topic of Freedom. Honestly, what the hell does that even mean? God says over and over in the whole freaking New Testament, that we are free, that when we proclaim Jesus as Lord, "the old has died, and the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17).  John says, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36). 

Jesus came to earth because of the Love of our heavenly Father to set us Free. He came abounding in grace to bring freedom. I know this because I believe that Jesus Christ said so and His Dad backed Him up. So then, why do I not feel free 97 % of the time? 

This question has wrecked me over this last semester. I feel so trapped. All the time. And, it's like, what the heck God? You promised to give me Life and Life to the full! (John 10:10). And I believe that God keeps His promises because the Truth cannot lie. He cannot be what it is not, and He is not a liar. With that truth in mind, how then could it possibly make any sense that I feel as though I'm in a small padded room without a door? I proclaim Jesus as Lord, and He says, "For one who has died has been set free from sin." Have I died?

We hold on. We hold on the what we know, to what we want, to our own plan, our own timing, our own thoughts and ways and ideas. And what we fail to realize that nothing belongs to us in the first place. The things of this world we cling to will pass away and only One will remain.

Many times, I think of freedom as being able to do what I want, when I want. I think that freedom is about me. HA.

Freedom has absolutely nothing at all to do with self-addicted, broken, two-timing, Sydney. I cheat on God with the world along with every other damn sinner (which means humanity) everyday. Whenever I put something before the Lord, my actions speak that whatever I am doing is more important. Most of the time, I do not actually believe that what I am doing is more important or significant than the God of all things. But my thoughts and words and actions clearly are not all lining up because clearly, as a repenting sinner, I admit that I'm wrong yet continue to fall short and show with actions that whatever I'm doing is more important than the glory of the Father.  Often, we live lives we don't really believe in. We live in what is comfortable and messy and instinctual. Far to often, I live in my guilt. I live in my sin. I live in myself. And that is the key. That is the missing link I have been searching for all these months: Freedom is not about me.

Freedom is about "me" dying. It is about the perishable passing away. It is about being refined into a new creation with a new name. It is about living in purpose. It is about throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and running with arms wide open to our Savior. It is about fixing our eyes on someone other than ourselves, fixing our eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the Joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorning its' shame, and who sits at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Freedom is not a feeling. It is an act. It is a life. It is a gift. And it is not about us.
I have been given an incredible Freedom to have an intimate relationship with the Creator of all that is and was and will be. YOU CANNOT READ THIS AND TELL ME THAT THAT IS A SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU WANT DANCE AND SING AND VOMIT ALL AT THE SAME TIME! (I mean, maybe you can, but I most certainly cannot)

I completely believe that you can know Jesus and sin. I know because I experience this everyday. But it is a Goddamn bummer if we continue to live in this world as if that is ok. Because, damnit, we were made for so much more! We spend copious amounts of time attempting to squeeze ourselves in the image of this world, trying to fit ourselves in to a society of people and expectations. And you know what? It isn't that difficult to do. Many times, is horrifically easy. But it takes true faith to walk in Freedom. It takes true faith to say that You are worth more- more than the sin we fall into and more than the guilt we may feel and more than the judgements and expectations of mere man. I believe that there is a difference between sinning and being a slave to it. A slave does not know freedom, is afraid of freedom, doesn't understand how to live in such a way of Love. But lucky us, we get a human and flesh example of what that can be like. Props to you Jesus.

A lot of times, I feel like Dobby the Elf (#harrypotterreference). I desire to be free, but when I do something wrong, I want to hit myself over the head with a lamp. And once I realize my freedom and that I have been given a sock, that I have been clothed,  I don't really know how to grasp it. It takes some time getting used to. And it is also a very confusing concept. Because the flesh and sin are still just as real as Freedom and holiness. It's quite the paradox.

I believe it is very possible to live lives that are half in and half out. I also believe that we are very talented at making things harder than they need to be. We are faced with many choices. And though I believe we are loved despite what we may choose, I believe our choices do reveal a lot, not about who we are, but who we believe we are. Our choices directly impact what we believe and what we claim to believe. Unfortunately, far too often, these are not the same.

We can be stronger than the temptation of this world. But lets be honest: most of us that know Christ understand this and many times, we would much rather live in ignorance. We care more about the here and now and what we want. We are like children, needing instant gratification. Patience is a rough concept for this generation. We care about us. I care about me. He cares about himself. It's the boomerang effect.  We kinda suck. But God isn't even phased by that.

We have a Freedom to experience a Love that makes absolutely no sense in this world I call my temporary home. And when we experience a love like that, it is our duty and obligation and literally God-given right to share that with every single human being we come in contact with. We have a freedom to love unconditionally. We have a freedom to throw off what hinders us, whether that be judgment, or expectations or the feelings of worthlessness.

So often, we continue to look at people through our own eyes. They are blind eyes. They are eyes that have been weakened by sight of lies in action. We look through eyes of condemnation. That may sound harsh, but we all judge people on a daily basis. And many of us walk in that step of life. We judge people based on the clothes they wear, their beauty, their age, their size, their color. We judge them by the music they listen too and the friends they have. We judge them by what they do and what they don't do. We judge them by hairstyles and all sorts of other meaningless, freaking, objectifying terms that lead to nothing and cause so much hurt and cynicism. We decide to play God. Our actions tend to add to our continual cycle of brokenness. But God came and said "Enough! It is finished!"

This lack of living and walking in Freedom is not an epidemic that merely affects those who are apart from the church. It is a problem that affects Christians and agnostics and atheists alike. It is a problem that has an answer. But many of us are far too terrified to let go of ourselves. We have this ability to share a Love that can change the coldest heart, a Love that is radical and different, a Love that can and will completely change this world whether or not we hop on board. But we are too often ruled by a spirit of fear. And that is not of the Lord.

We can look at people differently. We can look at them, both Christians and non-Christians alike and we can look at them through love. I'm so sick of these damn labels that we all seem to cling to as a means of identifying people. We are all people and God said to love. That's it. There is no if, ands or buts. We love because He said so. And we can only do that a part from us.

I see too many Christians judging non-Christians and non-Christians judging Christians and Christians judging Christians and effing people judging people. Because we all think we know it all.

What does it mean to die to ourselves? I can tell you, that I don't fully know. I think it means less of us, less of "me" and "I" and more of "Him". It means allowing the Lord to wreck You and letting Him bend you to His will. Because as strange as it sounds, I believe that true freedom lies in giving up self-indulgence, in God healing what was corrupted and made broken.

If we do not live in what we believe, we will quickly become confused. We will be pulled in all different directions as the spiritual battle rages within us. 

We have a freedom to love people- the well-dressed and fashion-impaired, the beautiful and the ugly, the young and the old, the wealthy and the poor, the strong and the weak, the Christian and the non-Christian. We have a freedom to love people who we agree with and disagree with. Love should know no limits and cannot be stopped by labels or human thoughts or emotions. Love should drive us past ourselves and into a broken world that could really use a lot of Jesus.

Freedom is about God. It is about His glory. And we are to glorify the One True King.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:1)